Last - Wednesday July 2, 2008

Everything is last now-a-days. The last class with the 1-6 class, last class with 2-1 class, last class with 2-2 class, last teachers' class, etc.

Too real? Yep, me thinks so.

I had to help record a test with the fifth grade English teacher. He and I had to do about three takes because one time the bell ran in the middle of recording...another time we screwed up one of the scenarios. But, all in a all, it only took 20 minutes or so. He also made sure to tell me that these days I don't look good while simultaneously looking pretty. I explained that I have been very tired lately and that I have had a lot on my mind. As far as the pretty goes...it's their way of saying I'm not as fat anymore. Haha! Oh, Korea.

I didn't really know what to teach for the teachers' class today. I told them about my difficulties in making a decision between Wonju and Seoul. A few of them had more input, but that's not why I was telling them. I mean, yes I wanted them to know, but I also wanted to have them talk about a difficult decision they have had to make and how they made the decision. One teacher had to choose between two men when getting married, one had to just flat out decide if she wanted to marry the man she is now married to, one woman has to decide every time whether to continue to push her daughter to study or not when she doesn't want to study, one person had to decide about her apartment, etc. Many of them said that they talk to other people about the decisions they have to make and some just decide on their own. One woman, the teacher I'm closest with said that when she has to make a big decision, she makes it very fast but it's the small decisions that she spends days upon days contemplating.

We then talked about what we're going to do for the summer. One teacher said she had no plans and then went on to tell us that her friend wants her to travel in SE Asia with her, her sister wants her to go to Daegu in Korea with her, and her husband wants them to take a pilgrimage to Israel. Haha! We all laughed...yup, no plans indeed.

After classes, I was going to go down to visit with the first grade teachers more, but I talked to Colleen, and extendee friend of mine about the ridiculous living situation for next year. I think I have officially (personally) come to a final decision. I'm moving to Seoul. I know this is what I've been saying for ages, and it's even what I emailed to Susie, my supervisor, but I think I have finally internalized it. Partially because I'm just tired of worrying about it. The decision has been made...whatever happens happens. Nothing that I experience in Seoul is going to kill me. I will be living on my own, and I will be teaching at an entirely new school; I will be teaching all new students and talking with all new teachers. I may not have my own classroom. I may teach the full 20 hours. I may live in a horrible apartment, but it won't be anything I can't survive. I'll be fine whatever happens. I do have to watch how much money I spend in Seoul which is a big problem on the crappy Fulbright salary, but it'll be ok.

I got home from school much later than I have in a while. I ate pizza after being grilled about the toast I prepared for myself. Each of my family members made sure to criticize the fact that I had burned the toast. It's the way I like it. It's the way I'm going to eat it. Actually I forgot to hide it from them. I knew they would comment on it because they always do. My host mom has finally figured out that it's just the way I like it. When my host father comments about it, I just want to say, "Smoking causes cancer too, and I only eat burnt toast maybe twice a month." (He smokes everyday.) I know it's something trivial, but it's really come to bother me over the year. Ha!

I took a nap before guitar lessons. The van came at 8PM. I half-assed practiced for 2 hours. I'm really not putting much effort into playing this week. Maybe it's the exhaustion...maybe it's because I'm sad about leaving...don't know.

I got home around 10:30 and everyone was already asleep. Sadly that's been happening A LOT this semester. I talked to Cos, a friend of mine, for a while on Skype and caught up with blogging despite my exhaustion.

Peace out.